you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.