I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
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Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?