Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
