Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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(513): I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass http://tfl.nu/na0v

Replies (16) Good night (2345) Bad night (1161)
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(407): View more from Florida

is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?

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(407): is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation? http://tfl.nu/cy8e

Replies (30) Good night (689) Bad night (9307)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.

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(412): All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire. http://tfl.nu/ff1n

Replies (19) Good night (4343) Bad night (1944)
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(618): View more from Illinois

he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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(618): he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever. http://tfl.nu/csmh

Replies (14) Good night (4774) Bad night (623)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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(610): you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask http://tfl.nu/pl36

Replies (31) Good night (9880) Bad night (897)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her

(732): View more from New Jersey

Clearly I went along with it

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(732): she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her (732): Clearly I went along with it http://tfl.nu/y5y5

Replies (5) Good night (4648) Bad night (974)
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(772): View more from Florida

He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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(772): He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off... http://tfl.nu/s4wu

Replies (3) Good night (1546) Bad night (1121)
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(425): View more from Washington

Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.

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(425): Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/kcmo

Replies (17) Good night (1259) Bad night (3290)
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(614): View more from Ohio

He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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(614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq

Replies (5) Good night (1550) Bad night (646)
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(315): View more from New York

Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

(540): View more from Virginia

Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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(315): Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time? (540): Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude http://tfl.nu/szgw

Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (2238)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close

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(618): I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close http://tfl.nu/i5mu

Replies (3) Good night (1261) Bad night (461)
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(360): View more from Washington

And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things

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(360): And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things http://tfl.nu/rkjt

Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (325)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.

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(413): So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time. http://tfl.nu/h95e

Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (362)
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(310): View more from California

Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.

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(310): Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley. http://tfl.nu/mbvo

Replies (2) Good night (258) Bad night (554)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?

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(785): Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too? http://tfl.nu/g36a

Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (165)

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