Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

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  (203): My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn. http://tfl.nu/0pkd
  Replies (12) Good night (866) Bad night (3759)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

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  (217): Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke. http://tfl.nu/86z1
  Replies (17) Good night (890) Bad night (4399)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

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  (402): She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night. http://tfl.nu/vsnq
  Replies (17) Good night (845) Bad night (3422)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  the part where you beat me to him

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fair enough.

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  (410): what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?! (1-410): the part where you beat me to him (410): fair enough. http://tfl.nu/4y3l
  Replies (18) Good night (7674) Bad night (1122)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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  (210): I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours. http://tfl.nu/n5xc
  Replies (4) Good night (4049) Bad night (1278)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?

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  (630): Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding? http://tfl.nu/gie6
  Replies (15) Good night (1766) Bad night (2471)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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  (325): Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms. http://tfl.nu/9ede
  Replies (8) Good night (3458) Bad night (753)
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  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (1146)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.

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  (336): I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella. http://tfl.nu/lhln
  Replies (10) Good night (3809) Bad night (777)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

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  (509): you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/fzjz
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (2291)
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  (518): View more from New York

  HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.

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  (518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR. http://tfl.nu/dsxu
  Replies (12) Good night (1966) Bad night (787)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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  (406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (310)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?

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  (401): Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer? http://tfl.nu/x506
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (734)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while

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  (801): Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while http://tfl.nu/pxq7
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (421)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues

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  (787): come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues http://tfl.nu/x9jo
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (207)

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