i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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