Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
