I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
