we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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