Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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