As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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