I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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