there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize