Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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