I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
