Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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