i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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