yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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