Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
