I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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