can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"