If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...