Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list

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(705): View more from Ontario

Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(803): View more from South Carolina

Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(380): View more from Ohio

She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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(248): View more from Michigan

He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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(631): View more from New York

You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.

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