Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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