i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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