we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
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there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying