Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.