The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
