I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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