So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
barbara walters just said penis...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
