he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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