We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize