HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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