My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize