I look better un-naked...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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