we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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