i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
