you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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