Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're a waste of cheezeits
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
