Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize