So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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