Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
