Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish there were birth control emojis
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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