Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
