Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
