I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
