I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's the barista slut.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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