This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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