i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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