just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
