we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize