just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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