mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize