i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
