Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
