Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
