He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
