what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
