dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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