quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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