Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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