woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
