Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
