this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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