i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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