The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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