At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
