There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
