He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
