After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
