oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
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How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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