youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just had sex bonerless
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
