my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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