Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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