I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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