I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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