Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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