ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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