when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So here I am, sexting at work.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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