I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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